Vegetable Soup for the Soul

It has been a soggy four days in South Carolina. Wet, chilly, windy, and grey. Not my favorite kind of weather. I am a Sunshine kinda girl. I am, however, the eternal optimist about things, so if there is a silver lining to this low lying, soil soaking kinda weather....it has to be Vegetable Soup.

Good 'ole, throw some meat in the pot, boil it up and dump every yummy veggie you can find in it kinda soup. The kind you make in the biggest pot you have, and you cook it all day long. That's the way my Momma did it...as did her Momma before her....and it is how I make it too. The ingredients are never quite the same, but somehow it always tastes yummy. Throw together some sweet corn bread, and you have a meal that will warm you to the core!

I was raised on made from scratch, yellow corn meal, cornbread. Mark was raised on Jiffy Mix. I had never had Jiffy prior to matrimony....but I tried it, and I liked it! Probably because it is more like cake than bread! Oh, but it's sweetness is the perfect culinary balance to the slightly acidic soup! I like to crumble my cornbread into my soup bowl. Mark, my hubby...he is a dipper. So I bake my cornbread in a deeper dish, so that when it bakes I can cut it into perfect thick squares of golden goodness :) Perfect for dipping! Yes, I love my man...and he loves my Jiffy squares.

One of the hardest days for me after my Mom got ill, was a day when I was really sick with a cold and wanted some Vegetable Soup. She always made it for us kids when we were sick....even after we grew up and got married and did not live under her roof anymore. Looking back, I think that was the first day that I really got honest with myself about the finality of her illness. Somehow I knew deep inside that I would never have HER Vegetable Soup again. I would never have HER, not ill, again. I do not really recall what the weather was like outside that day, but in my heart...it was one of the darkest days ever. Those of you who have lost a parent, or have elderly or ill parents know exactly what I am talking about. It is hard to explain...and it is more difficult to fully digest.

I don't really know what came over me that day, but as horrible as I felt, I got up, pulled out my big pot, threw in some meat...then through tears and 101 degree fever, I made my own pot of soup. It was a rite of passage. It was a line drawn in the sand between being the child and becoming the adult. It was the beginning of knowing that I had to let her go, and knowing there was nothing I could do to change it. The sweetest cornbread in the world could not cut the bitterness of that fact.

Oddly enough, after that one particular episode of melancholy meal making....I felt so much better. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. I can make Vegetable Soup now, without tears and with fond thoughts of Momma and the way she loved and cared for us. And those sweet memories, definitely warm me to the core.

Um, Um, Good!
~Scarlett

Something WICKED This Way Comes...and it Changed Me Forever, For Good

I have felt misunderstood my whole life. There....I said it! (Well, technically, I typed it, but in blogland that counts as the same!) Now before you start thinking this is gonna be a "Poor Little, Pity Me Post"...let me say...it is NOT. I don't play the victim well...unless of course, she is a character on stage! Those who know me on a more personal level can testify to the fact that I will "bust a gut" before I will ask for help or admit defeat! I cannot understand the whole "Damsel in Distress" senario? HELLO!!!!I HATE to look weak. It is likely a personality flaw...I know....but I am just being truthful!!

I am pretty much an open book. I love all people, and actually like most of them as well :) If I say something, I keep my word. If I do not like something, I will typically let you know in a private, kind way. It is just the way I operate. And despite my strong Southern Bell persona...I defy one presumed characteristic of that personality type.....Passive Manipulation. Where as many people I know tell you what you want to hear to get the reactions they want....I just don't play well using that set of unhealthy social rules!

Because of that...most folks, (in trying to figure out what I must really mean or really want)...totally do not get me....thus the saga of my life long experience of being misunderstood.

I suffered the emotional misfitting of this senario....without a true title or name or explination of it....until May 29, 2007. My wonderful husband took me to New York City for our 25th wedding anniversary, and had purchased front row, center tickets for "Wicked, the musical". Now, I realize that lots of folks love this Broadway show....but the experience was much more than theatrical enrichment to me. It was food to my soul. It defined feelings I had felt all my life that I had never been able to express adequately. The stuggles that Elphaba had, I could totally relate to....the way every deed she did was misunderstood....was familiar territory to me....I had walked those same roads of discontent and disconnection! For the first time, I got what the issue was with me...being missunderstood.....But the really cool part of this story is that along with the revelation of that truth, I also realized that it is OK. I'm OK.

Thankfully, with that new revelation/understanding, came the realization that I am only responsible for my own actions, my own feelings, and my own reactions. NOT for what other people think I mean...or what they presume I mean or want. As a counselor once told me....We each have our row to hoe (in regards to what we say, do or feel)....other folks are given their very own row....SO STAY ON YOUR OWN ROW!

I was reminded of this whole "Wicked Revelation" today as I booked tickets for the show again. I simply cannot go to NYC and not see it. It would be like not visiting family if I was coming home from being out of town. Elphaba is my "soul sister"....judged for her looks, her actions, her intentions, the backfireing of good deeds, etc.....she and I are one. And like Elphaba, and the common stuggles we share....as we experience life...laced with a little bit of grace....the love a good man...and the discovery of an inner strength (which for me is my relationship with My Heavenly Father)...I have learned to fly....and I have been changed, for good.

I hope in sharing this, that maybe somebody else out there that feels misunderstood most of the time....will not feel so alone. To quote Elphaba..."As someone told me lately, EVERYONE deserves a chance to fly"!

May you each glide gently on the wings of the ONE who intrically knitted you in your Mother's womb, who wired every little network of neurons that trigger your feelings, actions, and emotions...both good and not so good....With Him, you will never be misundertood.

Happy Flyin' Y'all!
~Miss Scarlett

Miss Melanie, Reach For The Smellin' Salts! Miss Scarlett Is Back!

Howdy Everybody!

Did y'all miss me? Dang, I have been busier than the Sunbeam Mixer in Paula Deen's Kitchen! I think my last post was.....GULP.....last January! Where does time go?

I guess because I have been so incredibly busy writing other stuff, that I did not even realize I had neglected my blog posts for so long. So, let me start with a genuine, sweet, southern apology! I am sorry Y'all....and I will try to do better!

I have really missed you all....and thought about posting many, many times....I just do not seem to have enough minutes in the day....or the night....it is about 1:30 am as I write this....so take that little tid bit of information as an indication of how bizarre and erratic my schedule has been!

So...how best to catch up? How about a cut and dry recap:

1) LOTS of script writing, directing, and acting going on :) Played one of the Pigeon Sisters in "The Odd Couple" in January, Directing duties for "Peter Pan" in May, Wrote, directed and acted in "Camp Rock @ The Stone" in August, Crewed "The Producers" in September, and currently directing "The Fantasticks" (to open Jan. 15, 2010)! Whew! And that is just stage stuff!

2) Some songwriting projects going on....nothing in the studio yet...mainly ideas, chords and melody lines....but definitely progress! I opened for my dear Friend, Mary Krulikowski, an amazing, Christian Comedienne, on a Royal Caribbean Cruise in September. (Check out her website: www.floridasfunnylady.com ) The event was called "Crusin' with the Girls"...there are already plans for a "Cruisn' with the Girls II" as well as preliminary plans for a "Flyin' with the Girls, NYC" in the works! Check it out!

3) Mark, my wonderful hubby had back surgery: A discetomy, laminectomy, 4 screws, 2 plates, fusion with BMP, with bilateral nerve releases at L5/S1 in March. A HUGE back surgery...he tried all conservative measures for over a year....and finally opted for surgery as it was starting to interfere with most every aspect of his life!! He is such a trooper...doing better everyday...BUT still walking an 18 month road of recovery (that is average for the procedure)...until he should be pain free!

4) Kids: Melody and Rodney will celebrate their 3rd anniversary in a few weeks! They are both happy and wonderful...getting closer to finishing at the university....No grandkids yet...just one fat, adorable grandpuppy named Noodle :) Melody has great, almost perfect, grades, is working in the writing center, is a member of the university school paper, volunteering at FLT, reconnecting with friends and enjoying her time at FMU. Rodney got a new boat for his birthday and has become the master angler of the family!! Josh...well he is doing great as well....wonderful grades...inducted into the leadership/honor fraternity at FMU, also tutoring in the writing center, writing for the school paper, as well as doing shows at FLT and FMU...Not to mention a new lady in his life...the beautiful Kimi (aka Peter Pan)...we love her to pieces!!!

5)Oh, and as of this morning, I have lost 80 pounds :) Walking 5 miles a day as part of Marks surgery rehab has been an incredible catalyst in getting my weight back on track! I am still not as skinny as I have been, but I am where my doctor feels I am healthy and happy, and (per my hubby) hot :) And while it is nice to fit back into some clothes that I thought I would never fit into again, the most rewarding thing for me is that I know I am healthier!

6) Spiritually, God has been holding me close, and patiently waiting on me as I ramble, rush, and regroup. I feel even more called to serve Him by using the Creative Worship tools He has placed in my hands, than ever before! SO many cool opportunities He is providing....How awesome to have multiple options....but how scary to know that it is my responsibility to choose wisely :/

There is more...but why go on...as you can see, I have not been simply ignoring you while I sat on my front porch eating bon bons and drinking sweet tea! Nope....more like I have been walking my bahunkus off (literally), eating lots of salads and drinking more than my fair share of diet Pepsi! That, plus all the other "stuff"!

So, for you dear faithful ones who have waited on me as I have rambled, rushed, and regrouped....I say thank you from the bottom of my pea pickin' heart! I promise to do better....how does once a week sound?

In the mean time...it is after 2am...and I have a very sexy baritone who is patiently waiting on me to hit the jacuzzi with him....think I will take him up on the offer!

Thanks for stopping by! Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Still Frankly,
Miss Scarlett

What God Has NOT Given Us Y'all!!!!

Hey Y'all! In case I have not told you in the last few months, let me just say thanks for stopping in on occasion to read this blog! Because I have a counter, I know there are lots and lots of folks who read, even if they do not always make a comment. I realize that I honestly do not have time to do a blog, but feel strongly led by the Lord to do so, and I just love pondering from week to week as to what He wants me to gab about! Sometimes He just lays a topic heavily on my heart, sometimes the ideas are spurred from a conversation with a friend, and sometimes they simply reflect where I am in my daily life. Whatever the catalyst, I earnestly pray that He will use my bantering to touch, bless, or encourage the reader. Even if it is just one.

I had to miss our regular church services yesterday because I have some sort of cold/virus. Nothing horrible, but I did have a fever, and did not want to share whatever it is with the church family I love so much! I really hated missing yesterday! We had the closing Solemn Assembly service. (See last post) I worked very hard to get the set just right last week. Couldn't wait to see folks nailing their burdens to the huge 13 ft. cross I lugged center stage!! What a cool idea......physically, although symbolically, laying all our cares, worries, longings, and fears at the foot of the cross. Realizing that God loves us so much that he sent his only son to die on a cross, so that we might live! Jesus said," I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly". - John 10:10

As I continued to fast sugar, pray, and think about what God was calling me to lay at his feet or commit to change this Sunday.....I pondered several things. Some small, some not so small. Some burdens that I have carried for years, and some fears acquired by simply listening to the news and other sources that emphasize how fragile they believe we have currently become as a nation. The latter being really heavy stuff that I have lived enough life to realize that I have absolutely zero control over!

It is not that I am not concerned, or that I plan to just sit back and forfeit my right as an American citizen to make my voice heard. Not at all. I love being heard!! Nope, my lack of panic is more about that big ole cross I lugged center stage this week. (Well, technically not THAT cross, but THE cross....y'all know what I mean!) Go back and read John 10:10 again. He came that we might have life more abundantly! Does that mean that we will not have turmoil, sorrow, concerns? Definitely not!! That big ole cross just means that He loves us so much that NO MATTER what comes our way, He will handle it. Period.

Precious ones, don't let the fear of the unknown blind you from the blessings of the One we know as our Savior and Lord Jesus! He can handle it ALL.....I promise! How can we be a witness of the hope and love and trust that we have in our Lord if we cannot live it in our lives everyday? This is one of Satan's greatest tools y'all!!

One of the most incredible promises of the word that I cling to daily is this: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. - 2 Timothy 1:7

In preparation for yesterday's service, all of last week, I "Just said no to Sugar" and searched and prayed. As a result, I was convicted that one of the things I would have physically nailed to that cross yesterday, (instead, I relinquished in my heart) was to "Just say no to Fear"....."God hath NOT given us the spirit of fear".....

And if He did not see fit to give to me, I surely must not need it!!!

Fearless Blessings, Y'all!

~Scarlett

Just Saying No to Sugar! Yikes!

Nope, I know what you are thinking...but this is not just another New Year's resolution post. Although it probably should be! Like a gazillion other folks who started the New Year with their britches too tight, I did vow to start eating better and exercising more in 2009. Actually, I was anxious for Monday, January 5th, 2009 to get here. I was ready to start! I have about 40 pounds that I accrued in 2008 that need to become obsolete in 2009! So, anxious I was to start the ball rolling! After all, with my weight history....it would not be the first time....and most likely not the last!

However, on Sunday January 4th, we had week one (of two) of our Solemn Assembly services at our church. I was not familiar with the concept, but found it to be pretty cool....and also a good way to start the New Year! For me, it encouraged me to audit, digest, and prioritize not only my spiritual condition, but also my mental, social, and physical condition. As part of the service, we were asked (if medically able) to fast......maybe a meal a day....maybe a certain food....maybe a certain habit or hobby. By fasting, we would be giving up something that we wanted or desired or had become accustomed to.....in order to substitute prayer or contemplation in it's place at that time. Hopefully the fast would help us search, appreciate, and feel differently about the blessings God bestows, and to refocus on the path He has planned for us. So I decided to fast sugar.

At first, I kind of thought I might be cheating a bit.....because honestly, I was itching to start my new healthier lifestyle the next day anyway! But as I thought about it and prayed about it.....I really felt like it was my best choice. Day one was a piece of cake (or should I say a piece of sugar free cake!)....I had zero added sugar. I was very careful to read labels for any kind of sugar content. Today was not that bad either....EXCEPT...when the check was delivered to our lunch table at Olive Garden (I had soup and salad)...the waitress left us those yummy little chocolate mints...NOT sugar free! I really wanted one of those little buggers.

But, I left them on the table. However, the thought of them lingered in my mind and my heart for the rest of the day. Whodda thunk a itty bitty little ole Andes mint could hold so much power over a gregarious, strong as an ox, self determined follower of Christ!!! But it did!

Hello??? Even if I get nothing else out of the Solemn Assembly services, I learned this little diddy today: Anything that has power over me....hobby, habit, or sin...no matter how good or how purposeful, how big or how small....If it draws constant focus to "IT" instead of Christ and the plans He has in store for me, then my priorities are WRONG.

Now don't you go thinking that I think one little Andes mint will keep someone from passing through the pearly gates,...of course not! God created that little mint. He is the creator of all things. Great food, awesome music, jobs, exercise regimes and even sugar :) It is only when those things find a spot higher on our priority list than loving and pleasing God that they become a problem.

I have 5 more days that I have vowed to "Just Saying NO to Sugar".....and although that is a very good dietary thing for me to do that I will likely continue....I have found it to be an even better spiritual inventory tool for me to gage where I am right now in my walk. Let me be perfectly honest here....if I had prayed just one minute for every cookie, candy or dessert I ate....just over this past holiday....I know my walk would be stronger! Just telling it like it is folks!

For those of you who read this that are also fasting this week....How is it going? What are you fasting? Better yet...what is God teaching you as you fast?

In the mean time, Just say no y'all!
~Scarlett

New Cashmere Socks and Grace

The unspoken rule of Christmas gift giving in the Knight household has always been that everyone in the house has to get new socks and/or underwear for Christmas. I know, not very fancy, but incredibly useful! They are things we need everyday, but seldom does anyone opt to go out and purchase socks and underwear for themselves....unless it is an emergency...or sometimes if we are packing for vacation, I will use that summer opportunity to augment the sock/undie supply to tide us over until Christmas!

Maybe I brought the tradition over from my extended family. We always knew there were socks and underwear wrapped up under the tree. My Mom made her annual Christmas run to Tomlinson's Wholesale every December.....the best place, according to her, to get the best socks for the best price. All the guys got black and blue and brown dress socks. The girls got either panties, slips or half-slips from the Tomlinson's lingerie department. It was a given. It was expected. And not a single Christmas, while she was still living, did she fail to come through!

This year, I got the most comfy, colorful cashmere socks....and they were pink! So by simply opening the gift and getting a glimpse of the regal, rosy shade, I knew the contents of that package definitely started out on the right foot. (Pardon the sock pun!) I put them on with my new PJ's, and stayed in them most of the day. Such warmth, and comfort. I felt, beautiful, snug, secure and at ease in my nifty new socks. Made me wonder why I only got new ones once a year!

Later in the afternoon, tucked in my recliner, having my quiet time....Yep, I thanked God, among other things, for the new socks. My thought process being that if He supplies the little things, then I should give thanks for them too! It also made me think about the amazing love He has for us, the incredible forgiveness He offers us, and how....like the Knight family sock/underwear tradition....that some folks only experience relationship with Him at Christmas....or in case of emergency :)

God's wonderful gift of grace is accessible every minute of everyday....yet many folks, for whatever reason, opt not to wrap themselves in it often. Talk about feeling at peace, secure and warm! Even my new, fancy pink socks pale in comparison to the gift of His grace.

So again, this year at Christmas, I got new socks. And again, this morning, I got another chance to wrap up in His amazing grace! I'm covered from head to toe....and I like it that way!

Hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas! But more importantly, I hope that you accept what you are offered daily from the child who was born on that day.

Cashmere and Jesus Y'all!
~Scarlett

Oh, Christmas Tree...OH CHRISTMAS TREE !!!!

Yuletide Greetings Y'all! I know I kinda, sorta said I was taking a blogging vacation until after the hustle and bustle....and mainly our huge Christmas Production was over.....BUT.....I forgot about the following article I was asked to write for SHE! Magazine....so here ya go!



Oh, Christmas Tree.....OH! CHRISTMAS TREE !

When we were building our home in 2001, Mark and I disagreed on only one thing…..the ceiling height of our “great room”. The house plans called for an open foyer and an open great room in the center of the house. A suspended catwalk would be the only thing dividing the two massive areas. Mark thought it was a huge waste of space to have the great room open….that would mean a 24x20 foot room, with ceilings 22 feet high…..hard to cool, hard to heat, especially since the whole back wall is pretty much nothing but glass. (And deep in his heart, he really wanted to floor in the top half to make a game room, so he could have a pool table.) But I really loved the idea of the vastness and openness of it all. Long story short…I won. Well, actually we compromised. I kept the open room, and I agreed that he could put a pool table in the small den off the kitchen.

We moved in the week of Thanksgiving, and I began decorating for Christmas immediately. Now let me just emphasize that I LOVE Christmas….I am talking REALLY LOVE it….decorating for Christmas is a passion I have. We’re talking 4 full size trees, 2 life size Santas, 50 sleighs, and gobs of other decorations! I would rather decorate for Christmas than open gifts…..for real y’all….I just love it! It takes me an entire week to “Deck My Halls”!

Just one problem…..when you have a large room with 22 foot ceilings, a normal size tree looks pitiful. So for the next several years, the trees kept getting larger and taller. As of Christmas 2004 every tree choice still looked rather dwarfed.
In October of 2005 I got a flyer in the mail from a Christmas tree farm in NC, and they were taking orders for trees to be delivered the day after Thanksgiving. They said they could get ANY size tree. REEEALLLLLY?? The paper only had prices listed for up to 12-14 foot trees, but had a number to call for “Special Order” trees. So I called. I explained my situation to the kind gentleman, and he said that he could definitely get me a taller tree, possibly up to 18 feet tall! My jolly, yuletide obsessed heart skipped a beat! Finally, I would have a tree for my great room that would complement its size!

There was no shopping for me the day after Thanksgiving that year. No way. I stood guard at the front door….waiting anxiously like a 4 year old on Christmas Eve….with so much anticipation of grandeur in my heart that I could hardly stand it!! At 4:00pm, my door bell rang. It was finally here! I ran outside in my sock clad feet, no time to put on shoes….I wanted to see it. It was hanging slightly off the end of an extremely long utility trailer.... She was a beauty! It took 4 men to back her into my front door. It took about an hour to get her up in the special stand….but WOW! There she stood, and although her branches were still tied up in netting, I could tell she was a BIG tree. We had to anchor her to the open cat walk for stability….she was SOOOO tall.

Now to put things in perspective, the pool table that was originally in the den off the kitchen, over the four year period, migrated to the “great room”, which at this point was called the “pool room”. (That’s right. Being the upstanding, respectable Baptists that we are, when you open our front door….there it sits….a pool table. I guess Mark really won that battle after all!) So, there was small sitting area on the fireplace side, a pool table in the center, leaving practically half of the room for the tree.

When the netting was released, the branches quickly fell……and they were touching the pool table. So we trimmed it back some. Being the self proclaimed “Christmas tree Officiatto” that I am, I knew the branches needed to be left, at least over night, to relax before any decorating could commence. I hardly slept. Bright and early Saturday, I awoke to the ever sweet aroma that only comes from a live tree. I quickly got dressed and rushed to the great room, and was greeted by quite a site! The tree had definitely “relaxed”. We had branches, across the pool table, past the center of the room! I am talking HUGE! Mark and the kids and I laughed hysterically for hours! I ended up calling my friend Bert Floyd to come help me decorate…..he brought his team….he even had to call for back up with taller ladders! He said he had NEVER seen a tree that large, and I believe him.

It was an exciting holiday with folks visiting most everyday to see “the tree”. The guy we purchased it from, stopped back by to see it decorated, and while he was there, he told us she was the “sister tree” to the tree that was put into the White House that year! We took lots of photos; other folks took photos….no one was able to get the entire tree in one photo shot! We finally figured out how to put two photos together to show the whole tree….but the photo really did not do her justice. She was as beautiful as she was big.

It took five of us and a chain saw to take her down. It was kind of sad really. She had acquired a personality all her own, and for that Christmas season was definitely a member of our family. We have not been able to find another tree quite so magnificent, but her memory will be forever etched in our minds and in our hearts.

Oh, Christmas tree…..Oh, Christmas tree…..your branches are so loverly…..

Happy Ho, Ho, Hoing Y'all!
~Scarlett